What we have been up to.

Smiles for Mommy






More smiles






Bro Bros hanging out with little sis






The boys entertaining themselves while mommy tends to little sis






The boys helping out.

Lauren Ann Hauf

37 weeks and patient.

I am sitting here trying to let go, and enjoy the kicks. I want to enjoy this kicks that are just mine and hers. A special little conversation between mother and daughter. I want to feel her move and enjoy her presence. It is just an ordinary miracle, but the best miracle of all. It is these moments that our lives should be consumed by. It is these moments that are imprinted on our hearts and minds forever.

So to the mom inside of me who is worried that someone saw a booger in the boys' nose. To the mom who is worried that their nails were dirty when Grandma and Grandpa came to visit. To the mom that gets worried by other mom's who worry or are judgmental or competitive. To the mom who gets that nervous mom sweat when her kids act out. To the mom who is worried about dumb little things...

Remember these kicks. This is life. This is a miracle. This is what I should think about as I try to fall asleep tonight. Which I guess tonight I will be because this little one is giving me quite the heartburn.

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Heaven is Not Too Far Away

Needless to say as Tucker has been the first major loss in the boys' life we have been talking a lot about heaven. Heaven through a child's eyes although sad is magical.

Here are some of the questions and observations of the boys'

Adam: "If we drive really fast and turn left then turn right - could we go there?"
Nathan: "Tucker barks really loud, I think I can still hear him"
Adam: (after I said we could get another dog) "I want to go to heaven and get a heaven dog"
Nathan: "I need to go feed him. He is hungry"
Adam: "His family is there."
Nathan: "It is like a dog park."

Goodbye

Tucker was welcomed into our home before Steve and I had kids. He bathed our house in a blanket of dog hair and love. He was the best home security system money could buy. He barked loud, but licked harder. He was a member of the family, he was the spirit of the family. He always knew when I was upset. He loved to kiss my pregnant belly, he loved to sleep beside the boys. The boys could take food from his mouth, ride on his back, pull on his fur, and he always come back for more. When I cried he pouted. When the boys cried he whined. When the boys fought he got in between them.

He was only sick for about 24 hours. We did not even get concerned enough to take him to the vet. I arrived home from work. He greeted me with tail waggin' love. He laid down on the floor. The boys were upstairs with Dad, who was putting them to bed. Tucker curled up next to me as I rubbed his belly. He leaned up and kissed my nose, then took his last breath. It was the biggest shock. He was happy up until the end. He was not in pain. We should all be so lucky to go in the arms of the person that loves us the most.

I was stressed about the loud barking and the dog hair, but I would give almost anything to hear that bark again and to be coated in his hair. He showed us unconditional love. He taught me to control my temper. He will be missed and loved forever.

Binders and Kicks

I remember when I was pregnant with the boys, before I knew it was twins. This means that I was not even 20 weeks yet. I had this planner with what we needed to buy, the cheapest pave to buy it, and what date we needed it by. Then at 20 weeks we found out that it was twins. Everything changed. The binder went into the garbage and we started to just enjoy the ride.

Now I am thirty weeks pregnant with number 3, there is no binder in site. There is no bedding in the nursery, there is no paint on the walls. We have about 4 onsies and 1 pair of pink pants, of which I have bought one. There maybe a name, but we are not for sure.

The kicker is, I am enjoying the ride so much this time. I love to feel her kick. I love to dream about what she will say, what will make her smile, and whose eyes she will have.

The other night as the boys and I enjoyed a night of sleeping in the same bed I had the best moment. The boys were on either side kicking my side as they tried to fall asleep. The kicks must have excited their sister, because she began to kick to. For the first time I was kicked by all three kids at once. I know that sounds abusive, but they were nice kicks, and it was a heavenly moment.

Fights

So I have been feeling a little under the weather lately. I have allergies or a cold, I can't really decide. That being said I am not the most patient person lately. Due my attitude it seems like all Nathan and Adam do is fight. I thought that the infamous fight over whose imaginary ball it was, was going to go down in the books as the dumbest thing to fight over ever. This was when the boys were about two and they were playing catch with an imaginary ball while we were coming home from daycare. This is the perfect toy if you have not used it yet.

Why the imaginary ball is the perfect toy for the car
1. It is free
2. It can never be dropped and roll to a place where you are not able to reach it
3. It can be whatever color you want it to be.
4. It never gets dirty
5. It never gets lost
6. It does not hurt when it hits you in the head while driving.


But all that being said, the boys found a way to fight about whose ball it was. I tried to give them another but it was not the same. So I had to take the ball away. who knew one could take away an imaginary ball. I even thought about making some imaginary scissors to cut a hole in it.

Anyway so back to the fight worse than that. We had company and I was trying to keep my early birds quiet while our company slept in. Well they did not do good. They were finally getting along and actually sharing the trains, while the fight over who should say thank you begun. This went on for a couple minutes and ended in tears and both boys screaming "You're welcome!"

Speaking of Love

I think one of the hardest lessons I have learned is how to give love as is it needed and take love as it is given. Everyone says I love you a different way and everyone hears love as different as those who tell it. Some people send cards, some people send emails, some people call.

The strangest way that I hear I love you from Steve is when he calls me "Katie". We are in the midst of parenthood. I am more often than not "Mom", "Hon", or "Babe". Which is what I am. But when he leaves me a note, or calls me on the phone sometimes he calls me "Katie". And there I am with butterflies and giggles like we just met. He still gets to me, even when he is not trying.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Additions

The boys have been it for almost three and a half years. I am their Momma and their Momma alone. They are caring, loving, smart little souls. Even knowing this I have been floored by their reactions to the upcoming addition to our family.

We did not tell the boys at first. I wanted to wait until we knew if it was a boy or a girl, but my little monsters listen to me even when I think that they are not and they figured it out. It was a moment perfect enough for a movie. I was laying on the couch after a long day of swimming and fun with friends. The boys both came up and sat next to me. Adam look at my belly and asked "What is is there?" Nathan said "Is there a baby in there?" I smiled and said yes. Adam said "Is the baby going to match Aunt Sarah's? It was a priceless moment as they continued to rub my belly and try to feel a hand or foot through my belly button.


The boys switched rooms, and their old room is waiting to be painted pink. I told Nathan one day to go jump on his old bed, which is the crib converted to a toddler bed. "Mom, that is the baby's bed." "Yes Nathan you are right"

When we were cleaning I noticed that Nathan had left his large stuffed elephant in the baby's room. I told him to pick it up and take it to his room. "No, Mom, I am giving it to the baby." I thought how sweet "But Nathan that is yours, we can buy the baby another one" He thought and said "No if I take it baby will be sad" okay now I am on the verge of tears.

We brought he boys with us to the ultrasound. The both said they wanted a sister. They got their wish. As the appointment was almost done Adam said "Mom is the baby coming out now?" I laughed and said no, they are just taking pictures. He was so sad and said he wanted to hold the baby.

I mean really, where did these guys learn how to be so sweet. They are in love with her already. God help the boy that wants to date her, God help the guys who even call.

They make me so proud. I can't wait to watch them grow up.

Just a Touch of Pink

We will be adding just a little pink to this household in November.

What did you say?

A little picture of brotherly love.


The boys make me laugh and make me pause with all the things they come up with. Just a little sampling of the things they say.


Nathan playing with a pretend Turkey. "We don't eat play turkey. We eat lunch turkey"
Sure kid. By his age I had seen and heard all about the turkey, chickens, rabbits, and cows we eat.

Adam with his speech therapist.
" Adam where is the block?" (as she places it next to his chair)
Adam replies with a smile in his eyes..."Right There"


Adam laying on my lap watching TV. I told him I was going to take a shower and did he want to sit with Dad? "NO, I wait right here for you" (and he did wait right there for me)

How to Wear Out Two Three-year-olds

Barefeet and Applesauce

We took the boys to the beach for the first barefooted run of the season, the boys like me and their Grandma Jane love being shoeless.   The water was cold, but the sand and the breeze was perfect.   I told the boys to put their arms around each other, and it looks more like a head lock.  Adam is looking at daddy taking a picture with his phone and Nathan is looking at me with my new camera.   So as Steve stated "More blog updates and less words to be expected"

Adam LOVED the slide.  

Nathan ran so hard his face turned bright red - another thing about the skin he inherited from his mommy, the good thing is that it also turns bright red with alcohol, so he won't be able to hide that from me...

Adam and Nathan helping me make applesauce just like Sid the Science Kid, they are good little cooks and will eat anything, especially if they helped make it.  

Saying I Love You

I read an article on how to deal with toddlers.  One very useful piece of advice that I took from this article is to listen to you kids and they do say "I love you."    The author stated that kids act out often when they are in a comfortable environment (like when they are home with momma).   Toddlers often test their boundaries  (meaning behaving like devils)  only with those they trust the most.

I then read an article on parenting.   Sometimes, it said, leaving your kids alone is the best parenting you can do.   Sometimes ignoring your kids a little and giving them room is the best way to love and nurture them.

Lets just say today that the boys and I both said "I love you"  A LOT today.

Trains, Police Cars, and Minivans.

The laughter somedays does not end.   Sometimes the laughter comes from pure joy.  Other days it comes from frustration.

Pure Joy.

Adam sitting at the kitchen table in just his underwear.   Adam farts.   Adam states "Choo Choo Trains coming out of my butt."

Frustration.

The three of us on our way home from a long day at daycare/work.    It is later than usual.    The boys are really hungry.  So am I.    To the drive thru we go.   Cheeseburgers all around.    Of course things are dropped milk is spilled.   Screams begin.  I am in the middle of a pounding headache.  I would like caffeine  injected into my veins.  

The screams and demands are not stopping.  If I was 3 I would be screaming too. Heck, I am 31 and I would like to lay on the floor and cry.   Well I do the ultimate parent thing.  I PULL OVER THE CAR. I am half way in the back seat.  This means my backseat is sticking up in the front seat.  

Then I notice As I am picking up milk lids and half eaten cheeseburgers, there is a police car approaching with lights on.   He pulls up next to me (and my big back side sticking in the air). "Is everything alright ma'am?  (now I feel old and embarrassed)

The boys were ecstatic.  " Police car!  Police car!   He's talking to mommy!"

"No, Officer, we are fine.  Just a three-year-old burger emergency"

"Okay, I was just checking"  He replied with a smile.  I think he was a dad by the understanding look in his eyes.

The rest of the ride home was nice.  The boys were happy with their cheeseburgers, and I think they think that officers are there to make sure that mommies get cheeseburgers for kids.  

Phobias

I must admit I do have a phobia.  I have a sameness phobia.  I am afraid of things not changing.  I am not unhappy at any given point, I just don't like being at the point very long.   I have not found the medical term for this but I did find one I wish I knew how to pronounce...


Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.