Let Them Be Little

I can't imagine sitting in the stands watching the boys graduate from high school. I can't imagine helping Nathan with his tie before he says"I do." I can't imagine holding Adam's newborn in my arms. But until now I never imagined talking with the boys about their day. Until now I never imagined those little hands wiping my tears when I am sad. Until now I never imagined what wonderful, caring people the boys would be.




They make me laugh everyday. Because of them I run through sprinklers. Because of them I dance. Because of them I believe in the healing power of a kiss. Because of them I believe in the joy of make believe. I never imagined the journey that we are on being this fun. I never imagined the journey that we are on being so blessed with giggles, wiggles, dirt, and funny smells.




I used to be unable to comprehend having a dirty car. Now as I entermy smelly car, I smell their childhood. As I walk over hotwheels, wet spots, and crushed cheerios, I realize I am walking through their childhood.




Before the boys were born I tried and tried to imagine what they would look like. Before the boys could talk I tried and tried to imagine the sound of their voices. I am learning to stop imagining, because each breath they take, each smile the give, each silly sentence they utter they completely surpass anything I have imagined. So today I will enjoy. Today I will listen and look and know that in a couple years my babies will be teenagers.






But for now they can sit naked together in a laundry basket, and this makes me giggle.